STUDY SHOWS ORANGE CATS ARE SMARTER THAN HUMANS o ARCHAEOLOGISTS IN PARIS FIND HENRI IV'S OTHER HEAD o FLORIDA MAN CLAIMS PET GUINEA PIG CAN SING "DANNY BOY," CLAIM SO FAR UNPROVEN o "MOST UNWANTED SONG" WINS MUCH-BELATED GRAMMY o ELVIS SEEN IN UFO WITH MICHAEL JACKSON AND DAVID BOWIE o POSITIVE CORRELATION FOUND BETWEEN ONLINE POKER SCORES AND IQ o OHIO MAN SUCCESSFULLY FILMS ZZ PLANT SINGING "GREEN GROW THE RUSHES, O" o WOMAN FINDS AAA BATTERY SHAPED LIKE BOTCHED JESUS PAINTING RESTORATION o PHANTOM THIEF STEALS MASTERPIECE RONAN THE PUG FROM MOBA o SCIENTISTS CROSS-BREED LILAC BUSH AND VENUS FLYTRAP o SCRAPPY-DOO WINS HANNA-BARBERA POPULARITY POLL FOR FIRST TIME o THE DRESS WAS CHARMEUTH, A NEWLY DISCOVERED COLOR o ETERNAL TRIANGLE PRODUCTION BEGINS, WITH TIMOTHÉE CHALAMET PLAYING PART OF HYPOTENUSE o STUDY SHOWS REGULARLY READING TEXT WRITTEN IN ALL CAPS HELPS LOWER BAD CHOLESTEROL o INVESTIGATIVE JOURNALIST DISCOVERS HEADLINES MADE UP FOR FOOL'S NEOCITIES WEBSITE